


Because it's you

by mamuras



Category: Buzz (Korea Band), Super Junior, 아는 형님 | Knowing Bros | Ask Us Anything
Genre: 5 Things, 5+1 Things, Fluff and Angst, I Tried, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-15
Updated: 2018-12-15
Packaged: 2019-09-19 13:52:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,291
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17002887
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mamuras/pseuds/mamuras
Summary: “Heechul-ah?” Leeteuk mutters, surprised to see his close friend by his doorway. “It’s almost midnight, what are you—?”“It hurts.” The look on Leeteuk changes, from confused to concerned, and he pushes the door further open to let him in.Or, 5 times Kim Heechul showed his feelings without words, and the 1 time he didn't have to.





	Because it's you

**Author's Note:**

> In celebration of Buzz's new album!

**_1._ **

It was a fine day when Kim Heechul's first saw and heard Min Kyunghoon. And it was also the first time he felt a _spark_ run all over his body.

 

For some unknown reason, there was this indescribable force that draws him towards the younger male. A strong pull he couldn't resist. A churn in his gut when it comes to him.

 

Was it the song? Was it his unique voice? Was it the way cool way he sang? His looks? His innocence? Heechul couldn't pinpoint what triggered this mysterious feeling to spread within him. A feeling that confuses him because he couldn't put a label on it. Admiration? Amazement? Infatuation? Attraction? He didn't knew. All he knew was that he wanted to get to know him. To interact with him. To be friends with him. Hangout with him. Just be close with him. He'll be totally happy and contented with this. (And maybe being friends with him will finally give him some answer to this confusing feeling.)

 

So when Heechul debuted on Super Junior two years after Buzz debuted, he was looking forward to finally being able to interact with him. His smart-ass brain told him they would probably meet at shows because of both of them are singers and it's such a small world so they would surely meet. So he joined as many show he can in the hopes of meeting him.

Turns out the world wasn't a small as he thought. No matter how many show and events he and his group participated, they never ever got a chance to interact. Much less see each other in person.

 

They would always be so close. And yet so far.

 

 

 

**_2._ **

When the doors-of-opportunity in meeting Kyunghoon remains locked, he switched for other ways to get his attention. He sang Kyunghoon's songs when he was on tv shows; He sang his songs on his sns videos; As a host, he changes the script when introducing their band; He even mimics Kyunghoon's singing and head voice when he was one of the guests. His strange (but unique) brain told him Kyunghoon would surely notice it. Of course he exaggerated a bit to entertain the audience. But the goal remains the same, he wanted to be notice.

 

And just liked he wished for, Kyunghoon did noticed him (He saw the interview where Kyunghoon thank the one who copies him)

 

It was... just not the way he wanted.

 

In the end, he couldn't have what he wanted. So he learned to gave it up. He entered into different relationships, lost a few members, got into an accident, fell into depression, joined the military, and eventually rebuilt and recover from all the past mishaps.

 

As for his _'thing'_ with Min Kyunghoon? He buried whatever _'thing'_ he had deep inside of him and the last time he heard of him was when Kyunghoon successfully finished his military service . After that, nothing.

 

Years passed and Heechul was currently fine with how the way things are now. Super Junior remains strong (despite the many issues and member enlistments that happened). Leeteuk and Kyuhyun were doing well in terms of hosting. Yesung had solos. He was also doing well with being an MC. He's also been given CF's as well. And just recently, he received a call from JTBC about casting him in one of their shows.

 

So yeah, Heechul was totally satisfied with his everyday life.

 

Until an unexpected plot twist happened to him. And that was meeting Min Kyunghoon.

 

 

 

**_3._ **

Accepting JTBC’s offer was one of the best decision in his entire life. The staff and prods were reliable and the hyungs were very welcoming. He also (finally) got the chance to interact with Kyunghoon.

 

And it was a chance he will surely not waste.

 

So he tried to make use of their setup to get to know him better and be close friends with him. He talked with him. Played online games with him. Allied with him in teasing Hodong-hyung. Teased him and his head voice. Banter with him. Flirted with him.

 

For a moment, he was worried on how Kyunghoon will react because he seemed stiff at first. But his worries were soon put to rest when there were no abrupt changes on Kyunghoon’s behavior. He still communicate with him, talk with him, drink with him. On the contrary, he even flirted back with him.

 

So he continued. He continued doing it until it became a habit, a part of his life. He continued flirting with Kyunghoon. Touching his hand. Sitting on his desk. Looking at him whenever he talks. All of these became a habit to the point where Heechul and Kyunghoon did this unconsciously.

 

And these made Heechul warm and giddy inside. Not that he will admit it though.

 

 

 

_**4.** _

Knowing Brothers was only the beginning.

 

The moment the staffs took note of their unparalleled chemistry, they suggested that the two of them should go together on some shows.

 

Heechul knows Kyunghoon. As his close friend, he knows he prefers staying indoors. But the idea of spending time with him tempting. So he brought it up.

 

He expected Kyunghoon to turn him down. What he got was the opposite answer. And that was how they became guess for the Taxi show.

 

The interview went by smoothly (although Heechul was embarrassed showing his empty apartment). He didn’t expect that spending time with was would be so comforting (Except for the time when Kyunghoon lean down and whisper something in his ear. That was not comforting. Not when Heechul felt butterflies in his stomach. But that is something he will never admit)

 

That soothing moment and homey feeling Heechul tasted was something he wanted to experience again. So he’ll definitely take note of doing shows with Kyunghoon if given the chance.

 

 

 

**_5._ **

Soogeun was definitely the culprit for planting the idea in Heechul’s head. It was a ridiculous idea. But he still brought it up with Kyunghoon jokingly.

 

‘Sure, why not?’ was his reply.

 

And that was how the project ‘Sweet Dream’ came to begin. He wrote the lyrics (with Kyunghoon as an inspiration but he won’t admit it) and shared the idea to the other hyungs (which they amazingly agreed)

 

When the two of them talk about the concept of their music video, Kyunghoon’s suggestion completely surprised him. He was hesitant at first because he knows that same-sex relationship are still being unfavored by the public. And he definitely don’t want to drag Kyunghoon to a controversy.

 

But Kyunghoon persists and won him over (though Heechul knows it deep down that he could never say no to Kyunghoon)

 

The results for the song was also unexpected. Heechul and Kyunghoon didn’t expect to top the charts, much less win an award. Maybe fortune does favor the bold.

 

Nonetheless, the time Heechul spent with Kyunghoon for the song was much more worth it. His discovery of how their voices seemed to come as one amazed him. And singing with Kyunghoon was a breath of fresh air.

 

He made a mental note that this will never be the last time they’ll sing together.

 

 

 

**_(+1)_ **

“Heechul-ah?” Leeteuk mutters, surprised to see his close friend by his doorway. “It’s almost midnight, what are you—?”

 

“It hurts.” The look on Leeteuk changes, from confused to concerned, and he pushes the door further open to let him in. Heechul goes inside and sat by the living room while Leeteuk trails behind him.

 

“He was dating someone else.” Leeteuk isn’t sure if he should feel guilty for supporting and encouraging Heechul. He saw the episode where Kyunghoon admitted he was dating someone while doing the show. But seeing how the two interact - the touches, the flirtings, everything - he was entirely convinced that the two would surely be a thing. “I can’t believe I thought he liked me.”

 

Leeteuk sighed. “Heechul-ah, be honest with me.” He looked at his best friend solemnly, and quietly asked with a warm smile,  “Whatever happened to those butterflies in your stomach years ago when it comes to him?”

 

Heechul winces, dropping his head forward and wrapping his arms around himself. “I tried to kill it okay!? I tried to buried it deep down. I tried Teukie-ah, I swear!”

 

Leeteuk crawled towards him and embraced him tight. He knows Heechul has a thing for Kyunghoon even before they debuted. He might not have confessed to him directly out of fear - fear of rejection, of breaking their friendship, of the stigma on non-heterosexuality, of dragging his loved ones down - but he did show his affection as subtly as he could.

 

Maybe some things are never really meant to be, no matter how well they fit. No matter how badly they both need it.

###

Mending a broken heart and at the same time pretending it was not broken was not an easy feat. But Heechul did it. He put on a mask, tried to act cheery and normal as possible, still flirt with the guests (and even Kyunghoon), make jokes with the hyungs, and pretends everything was all right.

 

It wasn’t easy at first (especially if he sees Kyunghoon’s warm eyes looking back at him) but he’s managed. In time, he’ll heal.

###

 

“Did the two of you fought?” Soogeun asked Kyunghoon at their dressing room. “Heechul and you.”

 

Kyunghoon furrowed his brows, stunned at the sudden question. “No. Not that I remember, Hyung. Why?”

 

“It’s just…” Soogeun wondered curiously, “Never mind must be my imagination. Anyways, good work today Kyunghoon-ah. I’ll see you next week.”

 

That wasn’t the first time someone asked Kyunghoon regarding Heechul. The previous weeks, Janghoon also asked Kyunghoon if he noticed something off about Heechul. And while he did notice a change in his hyung, he couldn’t figure out the reason for the change. They still talk, play, banter, tease, do the usual things they do. But at the end of day he feels the distance between them and the emptiness within him.

 

###

 

All throughout their band practice, Kyunghoon was lost in thought. He can’t help but think of any reasons about the sudden distance between them. He thought they had an understanding. A thing. Was he wrong after all?

 

“Did Kyunghoon and his lover fought?” Joonki whispered at Yejoon as quietly as possible, but it was still audible enough for Kyunghoon. “He’s so out of it today he looks so heartbroken.”

 

“Lover? What do you mean lover?” Kyunghoon turned to their direction. “I don’t have a lover.”

 

“Wait, what?”,   “What?”,   “Huh?” Yejoon, Joonki and Sunghee reacted in unison.

 

“I thought you were dating Heechul?” Yejoon asked.

 

“Heechul? Didn’t he confessed way back that he was dating someone while the show was airing?” Joonki retorted.

 

“But Heechul and Kyunghoon really looked like…” Sunghee argued as well.

 

“Oh my god, Kyunghoon you sly bastard, you mean you acted the way you acted towards Heechul and yet dated another person? Never really thought you’d be such a heart breaker.” Woohyun chided in.

 

And that was when all the puzzle pieces finally fit in. God, how can he be so stupid.

 

Kyunghoon sighed. “It’s wasn’t really like that guys.” This caught the attention of all the members and they all decided to listen. “When I dated that person, I haven’t realized it yet. How I acted with Heechul at first might be all acting for the sake of publicity, but somewhere along the line, I realized it and everything until now has been real. I already broke up with her the moment I realized it and for the record, it was the shortest relationship I had.”

 

His members embraced him and he was glad they accepted him wholeheartedly. Yejoon looked at Kyunghoon with a wide grin, “So, have you said anything to him yet?”

 

Kyunghoon groaned, reminded of the fact that he currently had issues with Heechul. “That’s the thing, we’re kind a of awkward lately. By the way, how did you know?”

 

“The eyes are the windows to the soul man. Your doe-eyes aren’t exactly fooling anyone so I’m pretty sure the whole world know you two have a 'thing'. Now do us a favor and put us all out of our misery by doing something about it so we can now focus on our upcoming song.”

 

An idea instantly lit up on Kyunghoon. Hope beads his skin like dew on spring grass and he feel it radiating in to soothe his blood.

 

####

_I tried to avoid you, because I was severely lacking_

_They say that love that isn’t blessed, end painfully_

_Whenever I see you, I start smiling like a child._

_Because it is also my first time to experience a fulfilling day with no fear_

_It’s because it’s you, I can only see you._

_Why would there be any reason when it’s you who I love._

_I know that it will hurt more I’m sorry for that._

_Even If I lose all else, I will never let go of your hand._

 

When Heechul heard Buzz’s new song, he can’t help but choke a sob. The lyrics speaks so much volume. And he understood that it was all directed towards him. It was Kyunghoon's subtle way of telling him. His heart burst in happiness and his gut releases the butterflies that he once tried to suppress.

 

A loud knock on his door interrupted his reverie. He opened it and smiled, a smile that says he knows and understood. Kyunghoon smiled back lovingly. He walked up to Heechul slowly and pulled him closer to him wrapping his arms around him. The world around them melted away as he squeezed him back, not wanting the moment to end.

 

And in that moment, Kyunghoon and Heechul have never felt more at home than in each other's arms.

 

* * *

 

**Author's Note:**

> Song translation credit to @minkyung82hoon!


End file.
